Presume - is to have or form an opinion or view about a thing, situation, or a person in ones mind irrespective of whether it's actually real or has any other justification. In life, at a glance or in the first meeting or just on hearsay we tend to colour our views or form an opinion and tend to stick to it without really knowing much about it.
A boy who doesn't get straight A's is labelled stupid, but little do we know that he has a learning disability. A girl who has scars on her arms is made fun of, teased and tortured but needless to say we have no clue about the hardships she has faced.
We believe or say only what we want to and refuse to see the truth staring at us. Alas! Blame the anomalies of human nature. What each one of us fails to realize is that we all have our own story. A reason we are the way we are. No one has a right to judge another person.
The society today has changed from what it was before. Today you're judged on everything you do. No matter how many times you try living up to the society's expectations you can never live up to it and end up disappointing yourself. Many girls today starve themselves just so that they can fit into the description of "Beautiful" .
But the thing here is: If you're skinny, you get called anorexic.
If you have flesh on your bones, you get called fat. If you get good grades, you're called a nerd. If you don't get good grades, you're just labelled dumb.
Either which way you're constantly being judged for the way you look, the way you do things, the way you smile. Almost everything. It's time we stop perceiving people as black and white entities but instead look at them with shades of grey.
What I personally feel is people need to stop trying to live up to someone else's expectations. The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering known loss and have found their way out of the depths. These people have an appreciation, an understanding of life, that fills them with compassion, kindness and a deep loving concern which not many people have.
As Elisabeth Kubler-Ross once rightly said:
13 comments:
But Sadhna, judgement up to a certain level'll help you to come up, progress in life. In this changing world we all are forced to live in other's expectations. So we cant completely deny it.
I guess you do have a point. But eh I was just referring to people who judge others to make themselves feel better.
I'd like to disagree with Sabith. I'm talking about MAJOR disagreement :P The only thing you ought to do throughout your life, is live it the way you WANT to. You say we're forced to obey dogma, I say it's much harder to do things your own way. It's really easy to just bend to convention and say, "well I'm doing it coz everyone else is. Isn't that how it's supposed to be?" No. Maybe you're life wont turn out to be as comfortable as somebody else's who just laid back and did what he/she was told to. But then in the end you'll have the satisfaction that you did what you wanted, and that you have no regrets. It's going to be darn hard, of course it is! Especially with people all around you screaming, "You're wrong boy!!! You're not going to get anywhere with that JustLive attitude of yours!! Make money!! Have tons of kids!! Make more money!! " :|
You need to figure out a way to tune the rest of the world out, but that doesnt mean you become obtuse to opinions. It's a tough balance alright ;)
Oh and Sadhna, really nice piece :) I'm a nerd :D And the best part is, I couldn't care less about the tag :D yeayY!!
I *love* nerds like you! :D
Aside from that, I realise that everyone has more fun around you when you're free. If you can't even speak your mind, and just end up being a common "I sacrifice all my fun for a good future" Person (That's my definition of the real NERD btw)then there's nothing special about you, and they can play with someone else. You'll be alone, or just another pawn of society. But then, if you let yourself loose, people can see that you're not the norm. That you're not one of those normal people who just come into the world and die. So you'll become (the most) popular like Anjana.
Don't be mainstream.
sadhna....great work....now that a really nice start..!! :D
On a personal note, I don't want to live according to someone else's expections when they violate my right to be myself or to be who I want to become. The major choices & decisions I made in my life are according to my own values, principles or philosophy. These include my graduate & post graduate courses, profession & marriage. I have always believed that my life is my responsibility. Life is what I make it. So, I make choices based on careful assessment & reflection.
But, other areas have to be dealt with prudence. For example: I am in a society where clothes have to cover the legs. In the Philippines, half my wardrobe would include clothes above the knee & I would come to university in short pants. I can say, that's who I am! I cannot insist on wearing the same type of clothes here in Kerala, India. Can I? I have to be prudent in expressing myself without violating my own right to be who I am, without trampling the values of others.
I am definitely not mainstream. But, I can live harmoniously with others who are very different from me, without hurting their sensibilities. I don't easily bend, but at times I do.
So, it is not simply black or white. Yes, life is grey. We have to be prudent in how to practise our values. But practise, we must. We have to be prudent in how to express our principles. But express, we must. We have to be prudent in how to live our philosophy in life. But to live, we must.
Yes, TO LIVE, we must. We can only do that if we are true to ourselves.
Good piece of work, Sadhna! Expecting more from you.
@Ms. Mellanie, Ma'am but isn't there a limit to which we can be prudent? I guess we all go through those times when all we need to do is break free and just be ourselves.. at least I guess that's how I see it.
Thank you ma'am will try to do my best. :)
@Anjana, haha thanks :) and couldn't agree with you more on that one :L
@Chaithanya, Haha thanks Chaithanya :)
@Amita, I guess a lot of people do need to realize that eh that it's okay to be who you are and for all you know lots more people will like you for that, that what you're trying to become.
@Sadhna - There is no limit to being prudent because it is prudence that will tell you, "Enough is enough".
Breaking free is good when you don't curtail the freedom of others in doing so. My freedom ends where your nose begins. lol.
At any rate, I am with you in this. If you are keen, this is what I advocate in class, though indirectly.
By the way, this statement: "...we all go through those times when all we need to do is break free and just be ourselves" point to teenage times, a time when you start to search for your own identity, for your own true self.
Check this out: http://psychology.about.com/library/bl_psychosocial_summary.htm
Good one Sadhna!! :) It really is a tough job to put on a mask and walk around because you are expected to behave in a particular way! But may be that's what life would be like.. may be that would make at least one person around happy.. :)
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